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洛杉矶的曼玲的新书

第26章(1 / 1)

嘿,你有没有想过,我们为什么总在追逐“超越”?

前两天刷朋友圈,看到一个老同学发了条动态:“35岁终于实现了月薪五万的目标,却发现焦虑比工资涨得更快。”配图是深夜办公室的咖啡杯和电脑屏幕的冷光。这条动态让我愣了好久——原来我们总在忙着超越别人、超越过去的自己,却很少停下来问问,超越之后呢?

一、被“超越”困住的我们

小时候,超越是考试卷上的红分数。我永远记得五年级那次数学考试,我盯着同桌卷子上的98分,攥着自己的95分,手心全是汗。回家路上反复琢磨:“到底是哪道题扣了分?下次怎么超过他?”那时候觉得,超越就是要比别人强,强一分也是胜利。

长大后,这种较劲愈发明显。刷到同龄人升职加薪、结婚生子、环游世界的消息,心里总忍不住对比:“为什么他能做到,我却还在原地踏步?”社交媒体像个放大镜,把别人的高光时刻无限放大,也让我们陷入永无止境的追赶。有人为了超越,疯狂加班透支健康;有人为了超越,借钱买超出能力的奢侈品包装自己。我们好像都忘了,最初想要的是什么。

二、真正的超越,藏在“不较劲”里

直到我认识了邻居张姐,才发现超越原来可以换个活法。张姐40岁才开始学烘焙,没报班,就跟着网上教程一点点摸索。一开始烤的蛋糕不是塌腰就是焦糊,可她不急不躁,每次失败都拍照记录,还自嘲是“黑暗料理大师”。

三年过去,她开了间小小的面包店,店里最受欢迎的不是精致的法式甜点,而是带着焦糖色裂纹的“失败蛋糕”。张姐说:“我就是想告诉大家,不用非得完美无缺,今天的自己比昨天进步一点,就是超越。”她的店没有网红打卡,却总有老顾客带着朋友来,就为了尝尝那份“带着烟火气的进步”。

三、超越不是终点,而是一场温柔的旅行

去年我报名了半程马拉松,出发前特别焦虑,总想着一定要跑进两小时。起跑时被人群挤得东倒西歪,看着身边跑者一个个超过我,心里越来越慌。跑到10公里时,小腿抽筋瘫在路边,眼泪差点掉下来。

这时候,一位头发花白的大爷慢跑着停下来问我:“姑娘,要搭把手吗?”原来他每年都参加马拉松,不为名次,只为享受跑步的过程。大爷陪着我慢慢跑,教我调整呼吸,还指着路边的梧桐树说:“你看,这棵树去年还没这么茂盛呢。”

最后我们用了将近三小时才完赛,冲过终点线的那一刻,我突然明白:超越不是和别人争分夺秒,而是和自己和解。就像那棵梧桐树,它不会和其他树比谁长得快,只是默默扎根、抽枝,在属于自己的节奏里成长。

四、超越的答案,在生活的褶皱里

现在的我,依然会羡慕别人的成就,但不再盲目追赶。我开始享受每天早起半小时读书的时光,看着书页间夹着的读书笔记越来越厚;开始尝试下班后去学油画,虽然画的向日葵歪歪扭扭,却让我忘记了工作的疲惫;也会定期和朋友聚会,听他们吐槽生活,分享那些“没那么成功但很真实”的瞬间。

这些看似普通的小事,其实都是在超越——超越那个焦虑、急躁的自己,超越社会定义的“成功标准”。就像村上春树在《当我谈跑步时我谈些什么》里写的:“终点线只是一个记号而已,其实并没有什么意义,关键是这一路你是如何跑的。”

下次当你又陷入“超越焦虑”时,不妨停下来看看:你超越的,是真正想要的自己,还是别人眼里的期待?也许我们都该学会,把“超越”变成一场温暖的自我对话,而不是冰冷的比赛。毕竟人生这场马拉松,没有裁判,没有终点,最重要的是,你在奔跑的路上,找到了属于自己的光。

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